Well This Could Be Interesting
by HolySupernaturalBatman
Summary: A cracked Loki/Moriarty fic I wrote for my friend. Basically, what I think could have happened if Loki landed in London instead of New York. Loki wants power. Moriarty wants his helmet. **DOCTOR WHO REFERENCES**
1. Rooftop Shenanigans

Looking up at his monster of an adopted father, Loki let his hand slip from the end of the hammer, falling downwards into the abyss. Falling towards the unknown, the last thing he heard before he hit the other side was a faint calling of loss from the man that lied to him all his life.

* * *

Jim Moriarty slowly opened one eye, scanning the surrounding rooftop. The sirens were getting closer, and he realized Sherlock had taken his threat seriously.

"Excellent." he murmured, getting up slowly to avoid anyone who might look up. He cautiously walked over to the side of the roof away from what he assumed was a crowded street 4 stories below.

Sitting down on the edge, Moriarty crossed his legs in front of him and pulled out a sandwich from his inside suit pocket. Unwrapping it, he heard a curious sound from above.

Looking up, a deep purple shape had opened up above the building, stars spilling through the opening. Not only that, but a green, black and gold canon ball shot through the opening and hit the roof hard. _Well, this could be interesting_.

The smoke cleared and a man kneeled there, holding a golden staff with a bright blue orb hung unsuspended near the razor sharp edge, stained red with blood. While the man was dressed oddly, Moriarty didn't take much notice of it. The gleaming golden helmet with extremely long, sharp bull horns had captured his attention.

The man rose from his kneel and scanned the area, before coming to rest on Jim, still sitting on the edge of the far side of the building, holding his sandwich.

"What realm is this?" the man demanded of the sharply dressed man sitting before him.

"Earth." Moriarty replied simply.

"Earth, you say?" the man threw his head back and laughed, sunlight glinting off the golden helmet, "How charming. Kneel mortal."

Moriarty chuckled and got up. He swaggered over to the strange man.

"You just fell through the sky, and you expect me to kneel before you like some common man? Tut tut darling, while that may be impressive to some, you have no power here, unlike I." Moriarty turned and chuckled again, beginning to walk away from the lunatic in his presence, "Now, if you'll excuse me I have a sandwich to eat."

"No power? Really...," the stranger said from behind him, taking careful aim with his staff.

Moriarty swiveled on his heel, to face him again and was forcefully blown backwards across the roof by a bright blue light. He landed hard, 30 feet away, a black mark burned across his suit. He lay dazed for a moment, before snapping his head back to the freak with the horned helmet.

The man had stormed across the roof toward him and held him by the lapels of his suit jacket, face inches away from his own.

"My name is Loki." he snarled, "I am of Asgard. I am your king, your god and you _will _kneel before me!"

He let go and aimed his staff at Moriarty again and screamed, "KNEEL MORTAL."

Moriarty was unphased. So this Loki character had some shiny blue energy he could control, but that didn't mean _power_. That meant _push_, something he could use. If he would see sense. Which he would have to. He picked himself up and kneeled before Loki, arms spread gracefully.

Loki lowered his staff to his side and grazed his hand over the wicked sharp ridge when a glint of red flashed across his eye, and although he couldn't tell where it came from; he knew the man kneeling before him had something to do with it. He looked down to find the man grinning up at him, arms still spread.

"What is this?" Loki demanded again.

"That, my most fatuous lord, is the pinprick of light that will end your life unless you do exactly as I say." laughed Moriarty, springing up from his kneel to dance around the green and gold robed man tauntingly.

Loki laughed, "I am a god you fool. Nothing can kill me." He waved his hand dismissively, leveling his staff at Moriarty to blast him again.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not so fast darling. We've had your type here before, believe it or not. What with The Doctor zipping all over the place in the infernal blue box of his with his blonde girlfriend. We learned how to harm his type, your type, every last pompous thing out there that thinks they can just waltz in a rule the world." Jim sang, as he completed another circle around Loki.

Loki lowered his staff cautiously, uncertain about the change of events. This man, this Jim Moriarty, said he had resources to kill him, and while he doubted it would kill him, being majorly injured was not out of the question, and therefore, he would listen to the man. He lowered his staff further, "The scene below, was that your doing?"

"Yes. But see, I _have_ power here. In this _realm_ as you called it. And you know I co-" Moriarty broke off as a tune blared from his pocket, it was rather catchy and upbeat for a man such as himself, but he liked it just the same.

"One moment please." He turned and dug a mobile phone out of his pants pocket and turned his back on Loki. "_Ah ah ah ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive, ah ah_ – Moran? What did I say about … I'm well aware Sebastian, but I don't think— and you think I can't _see_ the situation too? I'm in the process of … yes I know you don't _want _mm—yes but if I _can_ persuade him—do you doubt me? Sebastian, darling, really … yes alright … yes, me too. 8 o'clock."

"Husband?" questioned Loki, amused.

"No, not my husband, he's…" Jim trailed off.

"Do not try and lie to me James Moriarty, I know your mind."

"You what?" puzzled Jim, hurrying to conceal any emotion floating around his face. Loki could not know he was bluffing. While he did have power and Sebastian's rifle was trained on him, the man before him was inhumanely quick and precise. Right now Loki was on defense, while he, on offence.

Loki chuckled and sighed, "I heard his voice from the other side of whatever it was you were using to communicate. He likes to worry about you. And dinner at 8; how sweet."

Jim cleared his throat and straightened his tie before began his attack again, "As I mentioned before, I have power here. You want power here, yes? I could help you with that. There are just a few things you have to agree to."

Loki considered. If this man was bluffing, he would wait until his weapon wasn't pointed at his forehead before blowing him to smithereens. However, if this man was truthful in his quest to help himself gain power in this new realm, he would agree to his terms. And blow him to bits sometime later.

"What do you want, then?" asked Loki.

Jim smiled, "Not much really, just do everything I say, don't ask questions, and we'll be just fine. Basically just raze the city and pronounce yourself as ruler. They don't really know what to do after that point so they kneel before you and obey; mostly."

He flicked out a hand and signaled with two downwards pointing fingers. The red light flickered across Lokis' eyes again. Loki assumed he'd told his weapon to stand down.

"If that is all then, I will be-" Loki said, turning on his heel, to jump down of the rear side of the building.

"Not so fast, love. One more thing."

Loki whipped his head around, and once more Jim found himself captivate by his new partners helmet he wore with such pride. He wanted it. He wanted it now.

"Your helmet." said Jim, pointing to the gleaming horns.

"What about it?"

"I want it. Give it to me." Moriarty grinned and stepped closer to Loki.

Loki threw his head back again and cackled, "You want my helmet. Why?"

"Right, to repeat, 'do everything I say, and don't ask questions, and we'll be fine.'" Moriarty said, still grinning.

Loki paused. "Alright."

Loki pulled the golden helmet off his head and handed it to Moriarty, bright blue eyes piercing dark brown ones.

"Treat it well." Loki turned with a grin, disappearing off the side of the building, a golden glow floating around his face.

Jim lifted the helmet to place it on his own head, when it suddenly vanished from his hands, as if there was nothing there in the first place. He heard a cackle from the place where the god had jumped off the building; obviously this was nothing new to Loki.

Jim smiled to himself. This could be the start of something good. He glanced up. The purple vortex had closed above the building, and the sirens were fading into the distance. Distained cries still sounded below him, but he picked his sandwich up from off the roof and sat back down on the roofs edge to enjoy his double victory.

* * *

**AN: Hi, my name's Sarah, derp, derp how do you paragraph?**

**I'M SO SORRY TO ANYONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY READ THAT.**

**Cracks you say? You would like a Crack-y Avengers/Sherlock fic with Doctor Who references with helmet!kink? HERE YOU GO! I have no idea what I'm doing.**

**Reviews please? I really want to know what ya'll think of this.**


	2. Dinner Date

AN: Filler-ish, fluff-ish, mormor-ish, domestic-ish. Wasn't planning on extending this story, but then this popped up. Review if you like it, please?

(I swear I'll fix the errors soon, but it"s 3am and I don't wanna.)

* * *

"So. Who was that on the rooftop?" asked Sebastian later that night.

"No idea! He said his name was Loki, and he was a god from Asgard. Google it for me?" called Moriarty from around the bathroom corner.

"Jim, it's twenty to. Reservations or not, we can still lose these _very expensive seats_ if you don't hurry the hell up!"

"I'll be out in a bit. I shot myself in the mouth today, I say I deserve a few extra minutes!"

Moran sighed heavily.

"3 minutes." said Jim, peaking around the corner of the wall where Sebastian stood awkwardly waiting in a tux.

"You clean up well, tiger. Google. Now." he continued, his voice catching as he looked his sniper over. His head whipped back around the corner with a final look as his phone vibrated on the bathroom counter.

Sebastian sighed again and walked over to his laptop, which was sitting on the messy bed covers. He sat down and jiggled his finger over the track pad to bring the screen before pulling it onto his lap. Pulling up the search engine, he called,

"2 minutes Jim!"

A vague, distracted call sounded from the bathroom as he typed "Loki of Asgard" into the search bar and hit enter. A bunch of sites popped up with various myths – mostly Norse – came up.

"What the hell…?" Sebastian leaned closer to the screen. He'd known his boss to make some pretty weird friends and enemies, but this was beyond the possible. Not that it had ever stopped him before.

"Well? Where is it?" a whisper came from his left, making him jump slightly, "Two for flinching." the whisper said again. He could hear the cheeky smile in the voice, and two light kisses were placed on Sebastian's neck.

"The name appears to come from Norse myths about the realm of Asgard, which governs 9 realms, including Earth, or Migard. Loki is the adoptive son on Odin, brother to Thor, and the God of Mischief." explained Sebastian.

"Fascinating." said Jim almost dreamily as he reached a hand past its place on Sebastian's collar bone to press the key to take him to the first site listed. But Moran beat him to it, closing the search engine and leaning his head back to look at his boss properly.

"Jim, you can research when we get back. We have," he paused to look down at the gold watch resting tightly around his wrist, "15 minutes!"

The men jumped up from the bed and dashed to the door, Sebastian nicking the keys to the sports car out of Jims hand and dashing out the door ahead of him. No way was he letting Jim drive the car to the restaurant. He was a menace. Jim had finished locking the apartment door and dashed after Moran, who had kicked open the doors to the stairs at the end of the hall and was currently running full-tilt through them. Jim quickly caught up to Sebastian and passed him. He skidded through the door to the parking garage and jumped into the drivers' seat of the bright red Porsche.

Just then Sebastian pushed open the door to the parking garage, just in time to see his boss whip out the keys he was sure he'd put in his back pocket, and jam them into the ignition. Well there goes that plan.

"Hey, how did you—" started Sebastian angrily.

"What? You really think I'd let you drive when we have 15 minutes? We'd never get there and we'd lose the seats." reasoned Jim.

"I would have hurried. I just don't want to _die _on the way over." Sebastian said exasperatedly, settling into the passenger seat and clipping in his belt.

"I don't drive that badly." Jim hissed, offended, lowering the power controlled roof of the car.

"In this car you do." Sebastian hissed back, "I don't know how you got you license, but you need it taken away."

"Do you want to get to the restaurant on time or not?" teased Jim, easing the car out of the parking space and pushing the little button on the visor to open the garage door.

"Yes, but—"

"Then hold on!" yelled Jim, stomping on the gas pedal, making the tires smoke and screech on the spot for a second, before launching the car forward up the ramp.

Sebastian's head was thrown back against the head rest, and he clenched the sides of the tan leather seats. He closed his eyes, waiting for the ride to be over, and so he didn't have to see any of Jim's ridiculous driving.

The car screeched around the first corner, and Jim put even more gas into the car. Respect for speed limits going right out the window with Jim's laughs and shouts of pleasure; they drove across town in 9 minutes flat. How they didn't get pulled over, Sebastian was puzzled, but he didn't question it.

* * *

Sliding into the parking lot with seconds to spare, Jim slammed on the brakes while pulling up to the curb and threw the keys to a nearby valet. He hopped out through the window space, over the door frame, not bothering to open the car door. Sebastian followed him, using the door like a sane person. He thanked the valet and jogged up to the restaurant door that Jim held open for him.

"After you." he grinned, gesturing with sweeping arms to the interior.

"Why, thank you." Sebastian grinned back, reaching around his boss and grabbing his waist, pulling him through the door with him.

"Brooke reservation." said Moriarty slapping down the card that confirmed their seats.

"Almost didn't make it, did we?" the host smiled as he pulled out 2 menus, "Follow me." he beckoned them towards the back of the darkly lit restaurant.

"Wonder whose fault that is." Moran leaned down to murmur to Jim.

His reply was a sharp shove against Sebastian, but he didn't go very far as his arm was still tightly wrapped around Jims waist.

They arrived at their table, and the host set down their menus, bowed and left, promising someone would be back with a wine list.

Sebastian let his boss slip from his grip and slide into one side of the booth, while he slid in opposite. They sat in silence for a moment, reading over the burgundy clothed menus, deliberating on what they wanted that night.

* * *

The night was winding down, and soon Jim and Sebastian were one of the last couples in the restaurant. Sebastian picked idly at the last of his apple crumble, slightly too sweet for his taste. Jim scraped his fork across his plate, struggling to get every last bit of the chocolate sauce that had draped his chocolate cake.

Jim subtly motioned for the waiter to bring the check, only glancing at him briefly before focusing on Sebastian. Sebastian knew the look, and grinned across the table, leaning closer to his boss.

"You gonna be doing your research on your new friend when we get back to the apartment?"

"Nope." answered Jim, leaning over the table towards Sebastian, faces inches apart.

Sebastian could almost hear the purr in his voice, and was satisfied that he might just have Jim alone to himself tonight.

Jim motioned to him to lean even closer, close enough for Jim to whisper softly in his ear the plans for the rest of the night, the consulting criminals voice deepening as he carried on whispering exactly what he planned to do that night. They barely even noticed when the skittish waiter set down the check.

They paid for their meal and walked out of the restaurant arm in arm. When they reached the valet booth, Sebastian reached for the car keys, but his boss was too quick, grabbing them from the valets' hand.

"You do want to get home fast, don't you Tiger?" asked Moriarty, his voice deep and rich.

Moran sighed and walked around to the passenger side of the Porsche, opening the door and steeling himself against the hellish drive home that would hopefully end in something much more pleasurable.


End file.
